A Safeword for a Foot Rub. A Chat with Dave Bahr (He/Him)

I’m excited to welcome my guest, Dave Bahr (He/him) in Episode 24 of DISIRabilityALT. Dave Bahr is an author, speaker and comedian focused on demystifying the public’s perception of how to interact with people with disabilities. As founder of In-Sightful Living, Dave works as an accessibility consultant, aiding organizations to enhance their systems, environments, events, and cultures to be supportive of people with disabilities. Blind from birth, he teaches that having a disability is not a hindrance, but an asset. I’m excited to get the chance to talk with him today about communication in the vanilla world as well as around kink topics.

Dave will share with us some of his kinks and his experiences attending parties and dungeons as a blind man. He also shares about his first time going to a dungeon and we both share our experiences around being educators today. I can’t wait for you to hear what he has to share!

Dave’s work can be found at:

In-sightfulliving.com

Where you can also buy his book called “PRAVE. The Adventures of the Blind and the Brittle.”

Dave also wrote an article on accessibility in a dungeon for Lustery, which can be found here:

https://lustery.com/pov/people-describe-sex-to-me

Dave can be reached by email at: dave@in-sightfulliving.com

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” and the text “Episode 24” are written underneath. In a dark green background on the left, there is the following text “Safeword for a Foot Rub. A Chat with Dave Bahr (He/him) of In-Sightful Living, with Angela Car (she/her) 18+)”. On the right, there is a photo of Dave sitting in a director’s chair.”

A Full transcript of this episode can be found at the podcast link. To read/listen to this episode, go to:

Let’s Talk Books: The Handi Book of Love, Lust and Disability.

Welcome to DISIRabilityALT Series 2, Let’s Talk Books, Episode 2. Today, we talk about The Handi Book of Love, Lust and Disability. Andrew Gurza, who hosts the Disability After Dark podcast started the Handi organization with his sister. If you haven’t gotten your copy yet, please do so soon! It is amazing! Also, proceeds from the book go to helping them design accessible sex toys for everyone!

In this episode, I talk about some of my favorite topics and questions from the book and discuss how I would address the questions. Be sure to tell me your favorite parts of the book too. 

Order your book by visiting the “That’s Handi” website here:

http://Thatshandi.co

and check out the Disability After Dark podcast if you haven’t already.

 Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” and the text “Series 2 Episode 2” are written underneath. In a teal blue background, there is the following text “Let’s Talk Books: The Handi Book of Love, Lust and Disability”. Then the text at the bottom “with Angela Car (she/her) 18+)”. On the right, there is a photo of Angela reading the Handi Book of Love, Lust and Disability on a red reclining chair.

Full transcript of this episode is also available. Read or listen to Series 2 Episode 2 here:

©DISIRability, Angela Car 2021

Swimming, Sex and Swinging, A Chat with Lorraine Stanley, CEO of SWAD.

In Episode 22 of DISIRabilityALT, I have the opportunity to interview Lorraine Stanley.

Lorraine Stanley was a fitness instructor, before she developed M.E. Based in the UK, she hunted for support on sex and disability, and she discovered very limited resources covering the subject of sex and intimacy. So, Lorraine decided to be pro-active, and ran several sex and disability discussion groups at her local independent living centre. Lorraine started a not-for-profit organization, SWAD that stands for Sex with A Difference. Be sure to check out the rest of her bio in the show notes. I had the opportunity to meet Lorraine at a panel we were both speaking at for a conference in October. I am so grateful to have met her! In this interview, we discuss some of our similar experiences as bisexual women and experiences in alternative lifestyles. Lorraine talks about her love of swimming, sex and swinging and shares how she came to find her true authentic self. We had a ton of laughs along the way as well.

Lorraine’s organization can be reached at www.swaddorset.org. Her email is Lorainne@swaddoset.org.

 Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” and the text “Episode 22” are written underneath. In a teal blue background, there is the following text “Swimming, Sex and Swinging. A Chat with Lorraine Stanley, CEO of” and the logo of “SWAD” in purple and yellow colors, which states “where disability and sex come together. Then the text at the bottom “with Angela Car (she/her) 18+)”. On the right, there is a photo of Lorraine Stanley wearing a scarf with teal butterflies.

Full transcript of this episode is also available. Read or Listen to Episode 22 here:

“As a Service to Me, They Become My Ears.” A Chat with Master Don (Dai Bando) He/him.

In Episode 20 of DISIRabilityALT, I have the opportunity to interview Master Don. Master Don, also known as Dai Bando, is a Dominant in the Philadelphia area, the Head of Household of the House of Dai Bando, as well as an active member of the Lifestyle Community, He is a graduate of MTTA, Masters Academy, academy class XXI from 2013, the Foundations in Mastery program and has attended the esteemed Master/slave Development Center. Master Don holds membership in many Lifestyle-related associations and groups throughout the Philadelphia/central New Jersey area such as MAsT: Philadelphia, MAsT: Cherry Hill, Bucks County Power Exchange and the Gate munch and is a former member of the Executive Board of the Master-Dominant Consortium.

In this episode, we talk about being in a power exchange dynamic with a disability, specifically with hearing loss. We talk about BDSM negotiations. We talk about tradition in M/s circles and how we fit in, or how we make the lifestyle work for us.

Content warning: Master Don uses the term “handicapped” to refer to himself and uses it in general terms. We will have a discuss on language and the use of the term handicapped towards the end of the episode.

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a black background, there is the following text in white” Episode 20”, in grey text “As a Service to Me, They Become My Ears. A Chat with Master Don, Dai Bando” and in white text “with Angela Car (she/her) 18+). On the right, there is an emblem, which Master Don chose to share that includes an outer circle of white tiles on a black background, with red lines bordering it on the inside and outside, following by a second circle with a red background with white roots, following by a third inner circle, again of the white tiles in background, bordered by two thin white circles. The center is a black background with an eagle in the center surrounded by a wreath of Holly clutching a plague with the letters SPQR that has crossed lightning bolts behind it. SPQR stands for Senatus Populusque Romanus (the Senate and the Roman people).]

Full transcript of this episode is available. Listen or read this episode here:

©DISIRability, Angela Car 2021

Surviving the Neurotypical Munch

In Episode 19 of DISIRabilityALT, I wanted to talk about Surviving a Neurotypical Munch. I got the idea for this because I always had a hard time with social skills. I am learning more as an adult about neurodivergence and understanding why I have some learning, social and communication difficulties. I’m going to spend some time talking in this episode about Spina Bifida and Neurodivergence, and then I’m going to move into talking about conversation skills. I will discuss a book that gives really good advice on communication and could even be helpful when you find yourself at a neurotypical munch.

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a red background, there is the following text ”Surviving the Neurotypical Munch”, with Angela Car (she/her) 18+). On the right, there is a stock photo of a person’s hand using a piece of chalk to draw stick figures of people with lines connecting them in a diagram on a chalk board]

Full transcript of this episode can be found in the show notes. To listen/read this episode go to:

©DISIRability, Angela Car 2021

Twelve-Step Submission

In Episode 18 of DISIRabilityALT, we are talking about Twelve-step recovery and submission in a power exchange dynamic. Over the years, I’ve come to realize that these two separate worlds of mine, 12 step programs and M/s were really not all that different. They both have helped me to become a better person. They both helped me to become, not necessarily religious but spiritual. They both teach me about humility, obedience and service. They both teach me about power and powerlessness. My Higher Power that I chose today, is a nurturing, Loving God, not a punishing, judgement God. My Sir is a loving, nurturing Master. As I humble myself in service, to my Higher Power, and to my Sir, my anxiety and fears are removed on a daily basis.

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a yellow background, there is the following text ”12-Step Submission, with Angela Car (she/her) 18+). On the right, there is a stock photo of a staircase with yellow steps and wooden railing.]

Full Transcript of the Show is available. To listen/read transcript, go to:

Don’t forget to subscribe on Apple, itunes, Google, Spotify or Stitcher. Please leave a rating and review of the show to help others find it.

©DISIRability, Angela Car 2020

D/s, Holiday Blues and a Pandemic

On today’s episode of DISIRabilityALT, I thought we’d talk about our power-exchange relationships, getting through 2020 and getting through the holiday season especially if you have experienced depression or grief during this time of year. I also wanted to talk about how we are all struggling with social distancing now as we’re coming into the holidays in 2020 with the pandemic. We will talk about the importance of maintaining your D/s dynamic at this time and how to do so. 

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a red background, there is the following text ”D/s, Holiday Blues and a Pandemic, with Angela Car (she/her) 18+). On the right, there is a stock photo of a snowman with a sad face.]

Full transcript of this episode can be found on the podcast link. Visit DISIRabilityALT Episode 17.

©DISIRability, Angela Car 2020

A Chat with Pup Star Orion

In episode 16 of DISIRabilityALT, I have the opportunity to interview Pup Star Orion.

Pup Star Orion (he/his/him) is queer trans genderfluid disabled switch and leather bull terrier puppy. Originally born in Santa Ana, El Salvador, Orion was raised in East Hollywood. 

He is the Social Outreach Coordinator for Obsidian LA, a qtbipoc volunteer run kink and education group.

Orion is the LA Pup 2020-21, happily living as an ambassador for not just human pets but trans and gender variant human pets as well. 

An educator, Orion teaches everything pet play, including dark pet play, and how intersectional identities affect pet spaces. He also teaches how to navigate sex and kink with disabled and chronically ill bodies through his lens as someone who lives with chronic pain. 

A well-known exhibitionist, when he isn’t volunteering, it’s common to find him under the boots of or attempting to take the fist of your local queer cutie. 

In today’s episode, Orion talks about his experiences as a QTBIPOC disabled pup, and what lead him to his identity as a puppy. He talks about accessibility in the scene for QTBIPOC and disabled folx. He’ll describe some heavy impact scenes he has enjoyed and also discusses the beauty and strength of kinky disabled folx. I cant wait for you to hear this episode.

PupStarOrion can be found on Facebook, Instagram, FetLife and PuppySpace @PupStarOrion. His twitter is NSFW. Follow him to find out about his class and new social/support group called “Chronically Kinky”.

If you are QTBIPOC, follow Obsidian_LA on social media or visit their website Obsidian-LA.com

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a red background, there is the following text ”A Chat with PupStarOrion,(he/him/his) a disabled QTBIPOC and LA Pup 2020-21, with Angela Car (she/her) 18+). On the right, there is a photo of PupStarOrion in a leather harness with a red bandana and his collar around his neck, holding his pup mask.]

Full transcript of this episode is also available.

https://disirabilityalt.castos.com/episodes/a-chat-with-pup-star-orion-a-disabled-qtbipoc-and-pup-la-2020-21

©DISIRability, Angela Car 2020

Communication Do’s and Don’ts

In Episode 15 of DISIRabilityALT, I thought we could talk about some Communication Do’s and Don’ts when it comes to alternative lifestyles. We are going to talk about Do’s and Don’t’s from the beginning of messaging someone on social media, to negotiating a BDSM scene, to entering a D/s relationship and lastly how to handle a D/s breakup. The question I ask you this week is “What communication Do’s and Don’ts would you recommend? What did I leave out?” Please share your thoughts with me. Feel free to comment on this post.

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a light brown background, there is the following text “Episode 15 Communication Do’s and Don’ts” Underneath is a photo of a Do and Don’ts checklist with lightbulbs surrounding it. The text “with angela car (she/her) 18+ is on the left]

Full transcript of this episode is also available.


©DISIRability, Angela Car 2020

My Diaper is Not Sexy, but I Still Am

In episode 14 of DISIRabilityALT, I start off by talking openly about my feelings around being a disabled woman who has to wear adult diapers due to neurogenic bladder and bowel. Then we will focus on the topic of disability fetishes, devoteeism and disability. I will share my thoughts and feelings on fetishes and devotees and hope you will share your thoughts about them with me.

At the end of every episode, I will be asking a question for you to consider. Today’s question is: How do you feel about disability fetishes? Have you come across people with this fetish or have you come across devotees? Are you comfortable with being around people who have this particular fetish? Please share in the comments section below.

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a light orange background, there is the following text in white letters “My Diaper is Not Sexy, but I Still Am” Underneath is a photo of a pink pair of panties next to a diaper in a dark blue background. Underneath is the text “with angela car (she/her) 18+.]

Full transcription of each episode is also available.

Visit: https://disirabilityalt.castos.com/episodes/episode-14-my-diaper-is-not-sexy-but-i-still-am for this episode.