I’m excited to welcome my guest, Dave Bahr (He/him) in Episode 24 of DISIRabilityALT. Dave Bahr is an author, speaker and comedian focused on demystifying the public’s perception of how to interact with people with disabilities. As founder of In-Sightful Living, Dave works as an accessibility consultant, aiding organizations to enhance their systems, environments, events, and cultures to be supportive of people with disabilities. Blind from birth, he teaches that having a disability is not a hindrance, but an asset. I’m excited to get the chance to talk with him today about communication in the vanilla world as well as around kink topics.
Dave will share with us some of his kinks and his experiences attending parties and dungeons as a blind man. He also shares about his first time going to a dungeon and we both share our experiences around being educators today. I can’t wait for you to hear what he has to share!
Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” and the text “Episode 24” are written underneath. In a dark green background on the left, there is the following text “Safeword for a Foot Rub. A Chat with Dave Bahr (He/him) of In-Sightful Living, with Angela Car (she/her) 18+)”. On the right, there is a photo of Dave sitting in a director’s chair.”
A Full transcript of this episode can be found at the podcast link. To read/listen to this episode, go to:
In Episode 20 of DISIRabilityALT, I have the opportunity to interview Master Don. Master Don, also known as Dai Bando, is a Dominant in the Philadelphia area, the Head of Household of the House of Dai Bando, as well as an active member of the Lifestyle Community, He is a graduate of MTTA, Masters Academy, academy class XXI from 2013, the Foundations in Mastery program and has attended the esteemed Master/slave Development Center. Master Don holds membership in many Lifestyle-related associations and groups throughout the Philadelphia/central New Jersey area such as MAsT: Philadelphia, MAsT: Cherry Hill, Bucks County Power Exchange and the Gate munch and is a former member of the Executive Board of the Master-Dominant Consortium.
In this episode, we talk about being in a power exchange dynamic with a disability, specifically with hearing loss. We talk about BDSM negotiations. We talk about tradition in M/s circles and how we fit in, or how we make the lifestyle work for us.
Content warning: Master Don uses the term “handicapped” to refer to himself and uses it in general terms. We will have a discuss on language and the use of the term handicapped towards the end of the episode.
Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a black background, there is the following text in white” Episode 20”, in grey text “As a Service to Me, They Become My Ears. A Chat with Master Don, Dai Bando” and in white text “with Angela Car (she/her) 18+). On the right, there is an emblem, which Master Don chose to share that includes an outer circle of white tiles on a black background, with red lines bordering it on the inside and outside, following by a second circle with a red background with white roots, following by a third inner circle, again of the white tiles in background, bordered by two thin white circles. The center is a black background with an eagle in the center surrounded by a wreath of Holly clutching a plague with the letters SPQR that has crossed lightning bolts behind it. SPQR stands for Senatus Populusque Romanus (the Senate and the Roman people).]
Full transcript of this episode is available. Listen or read this episode here:
In Episode 19 of DISIRabilityALT, I wanted to talk about Surviving a Neurotypical Munch. I got the idea for this because I always had a hard time with social skills. I am learning more as an adult about neurodivergence and understanding why I have some learning, social and communication difficulties. I’m going to spend some time talking in this episode about Spina Bifida and Neurodivergence, and then I’m going to move into talking about conversation skills. I will discuss a book that gives really good advice on communication and could even be helpful when you find yourself at a neurotypical munch.
Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a red background, there is the following text ”Surviving the Neurotypical Munch”, with Angela Car (she/her) 18+). On the right, there is a stock photo of a person’s hand using a piece of chalk to draw stick figures of people with lines connecting them in a diagram on a chalk board]
Full transcript of this episode can be found in the show notes. To listen/read this episode go to:
In Episode 18 of DISIRabilityALT, we are talking about Twelve-step recovery and submission in a power exchange dynamic. Over the years, I’ve come to realize that these two separate worlds of mine, 12 step programs and M/s were really not all that different. They both have helped me to become a better person. They both helped me to become, not necessarily religious but spiritual. They both teach me about humility, obedience and service. They both teach me about power and powerlessness. My Higher Power that I chose today, is a nurturing, Loving God, not a punishing, judgement God. My Sir is a loving, nurturing Master. As I humble myself in service, to my Higher Power, and to my Sir, my anxiety and fears are removed on a daily basis.
Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a yellow background, there is the following text ”12-Step Submission, with Angela Car (she/her) 18+). On the right, there is a stock photo of a staircase with yellow steps and wooden railing.]
Full Transcript of the Show is available. To listen/read transcript, go to:
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In episode 14 of DISIRabilityALT, I start off by talking openly about my feelings around being a disabled woman who has to wear adult diapers due to neurogenic bladder and bowel. Then we will focus on the topic of disability fetishes, devoteeism and disability. I will share my thoughts and feelings on fetishes and devotees and hope you will share your thoughts about them with me.
At the end of every episode, I will be asking a question for you to consider. Today’s question is: How do you feel about disability fetishes? Have you come across people with this fetish or have you come across devotees? Are you comfortable with being around people who have this particular fetish? Please share in the comments section below.
Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a light orange background, there is the following text in white letters “My Diaper is Not Sexy, but I Still Am” Underneath is a photo of a pink pair of panties next to a diaper in a dark blue background. Underneath is the text “with angela car (she/her) 18+.]
Full transcription of each episode is also available.
A new series on the DISIRabilityALT podcast has just been published called “Let’s talk Books!” These can be books on BDSM. These can be books on sexuality. These could be books on disability. Today’s book is going to be about all three.
In this episode, I am going to discuss my favorite book on this subject. I’ve mentioned this book a few times on this show already. It is called “Kneeling in Spirit. Disabled Submissives” and it is edited by Raven Kaldera. Raven Kaldera has authored 42 books on many topics including M/s and Power Exchange, Spirituality and Disabilities. Links are below for Raven’s author page on Amazon and his disability focused books through Alfred Press.
Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a blue background on the left, there is the following text in white letters “Let’s Talk Books “Kneeling in Spirit, Disabled Submissives”. On the right, there is a photo of Angela sitting in a red chair reading with a purple background, with her face covered by the book cover of Kneeling in Spirit, Disabled Submissives.]
Full transcript of this episode is available. Listen to this episode and/or read the transcript at the link below.
At the end of every episode of DISIRabilityALT, I’ll be posting a question for you to consider.
In episode 10, I chat with comedian and disabled anti-hero Amin Lakhani (He/Him). Amin described how society tends to look at those of us with disabilities as if we’re angels and can do no wrong. How have you experienced this phenomenon? I know I have. I have experienced it when I became sexual active. I experienced it when I got a tattoo, and I experienced it when I came out as kinky.
Have you experienced that in the kink world as well as the vanilla world? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences around this topic. Go to DISIRabilityALT.com, that’s D I S I R ability.com and share your thoughts with me.
You can follow DISIRabilityALT on Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Spotify and Stitcher.
Image description: [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a dark green background, there is the following text in white letters “Have people ever treated you like “you must be an angel” and you can do no wrong just because you have a disability? with angela car, (she/her), 18+”]
Episode 8 of DISIRability ALT on Cartaking, Loss and Grief is available now!
For today’s episode, we’re going to talk about a difficult topic. Most shows on alternative relationships talk about the fun aspects. Today, we are going to talk about something that many long-term alternative relationships will face at some point. Today, we are going to address caretaking, grief and loss. Join Angela Car as she shares her story of changing caretaking roles, and shares her experience with grief and anticipatory grief.
Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a tan background, there is the writing “Caretaking, Grief and Loss”. On the left-hand side, there is the text: in Alt relationships. With angela car [she/her] 18+. On the right, there is a photo of Angela’s memorial tattoo which states “In this life and all hereafter”, which were in her husband’s wedding vows to her.]
Listen or Read the Full transcript of this episode at this link:
Episode 5 “A Pain I Choose. Accessing BDSM” is available now! At the end of every episode, I’ll be posting a question for you to consider. Today’s question is
“What does aftercare look like for you? Are there things you require in aftercare due to your disability? This is something you’ll want to think about before you consider playing, so you can tell your partner what you require in aftercare before you play.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this question in the comment section below. With your permission, I would also love to discuss some of your thoughts on the next episode!
At the end of each episode of DISIRabilityALT, I will be asking a question for you to consider. The question at the end of Episode 3 is, “How can we support people with disabilities coming into the kink scene?“. I share my thoughts on this question in Episode 4, but I would love to hear your thoughts.
Tune in to episode 4 where I will discuss Pride, coming out as bisexual and queer, and tips to support queer and disabled folx in the kink community.
Please share your thoughts with me on this blog. Let me know if I can share your thoughts on an upcoming episode! If I have enough response, I would love to include comments from my followers in my podcast.
Visit: DISIRabilityALT and subscribe on Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Spotify or Stitcher. Please rate the show and leave me a review to help more folx find the show!